When Did Weddings Become a Performance?

The ‘wedding world’ is starting to sound the same, starting to look the same and I’m tired of it.

The same marketing words and phrases. The same wedding trends on everyone’s feed as we chase an ideal. Worst of all, it’s the same pressure on couples to create a ‘picture-perfect’ day.

So here’s a question: when did it start to feel like a wedding day is a production, a performance, perfectly curated for posturing on social media rather than for your own memories-for the joy of it?

There is nothing wrong with having a vision, with wanting the day to look a certain way, caring about the details and wanting your wedding styling to reflect you. If, however, you start to stray from how you want your day to feel, if you find yourself caught up in the whirlwind of Pinterest, losing yourself in social media or targeted ads then remember why you’re doing this in the first place.

It feels almost blasphemous to say but the magic of a wedding isn’t in the flowers, the cake, the tablescape or even in the dress but in the celebration of two people choosing to commit to one another.

When asked what their favourite part of the day was, I’ve found most couples answer in a surprised tone that it was their ceremony-the irony that they are surprised by this isn’t lost on me.

‘It is one of the great cosmic mysteries. How it is that someone can go from being a total stranger to the most important person in your life’ - D. Nicholls.

desiderata has never been about trends, but always about authenticity. Not about a day that looks perfect, but that feels like home; feels like you- not an algorithm.

If this resonated with you, then I’d love to hear from you x